Every good man in lycra needs a nemesis.  Superman had Lex Luther; Batman, the Joker; Spiderman, the Green Goblin; even Superted had Texas Pete trying to cause havoc across the world.  My nemesis was first sighted coming into Ulaanbaatar.  He looks very much like me but wears a red cloth across his face, apparently in an attempt to reduce the dust and fumes in the air from entering his lungs, just leaving his eyes visible to the world behind his sunglasses.  I suspect that he has more sinister intentions and is just using it as a disguise as I have discovered over the past couple of weeks that he is working to sabotage my adventure. 

The Boney Bicycle Bandit's first act was to leave my Kindle on the kitchen table after breakfast at the hostel.  As I was cycling out of Ulaanbaatar I realised that I hadn't packed it so hastily turned round to cycle the 20km back to the hostel by which time the Kindle had been taken, never to be seen again.  With my head down, I trudged back out towards the Gobi Desert with very little for evening entertainment.  In another attempt to lighten my load, the Boney Bicycle Bandit managed to dispose of a 1.5 litre bottle of water that I'm sure was securely fastened to my bike so it wouldn't drop off along the bumpy track through The Gobi, and also a full sports bottle of water which was swiped from one of my bottle cages without my noticing.  The problem is that over every bump in the road there is a clunk as all my bags and bike get shaken up and down.  Just to rub salt into the wound, he then left my camera on, draining the battery completely.  Thankfully I was carrying 8 litres of water and the 2.25 litres that I had lost wasn't quite enough to threaten my survival as I got to a town with three-quarters of a litre to spare. 

The Gobi was really hard work but thankfully not as bad as I had been warned as I was able to cycle over 100km a day still.  There was no proper road for much of it and deep patches of sand but for only very short sections where I had to push.  A road is being built through it and although it is not yet finished, I was able to use sections of it having to avoid the large mounds of sand and rubble that are piled up to try to stop motorists accessing it before it's completed.  The heat wasn't too intense and I avoided any sandstorms.  I got to the border and was firmly told, as expected, that I wouldn't be able to ride across.  After negotiating for a ride across the border, I threw my bike and bags into the back of a Chinese 4x4 and we set off.  I was dropped off firstly at the Mongolian section of the border and after repacking my bike pushed this through customs and got my exit stamp no problem and the 4x4 driver was impatiently waiting on the other side to take me onwards.  We crossed no-mans-land and arrived at Chinese immigration at which point I was turfed out again, told to repack my bike and push through immigration and customs and that I could cycle away from here.  I paid the man and wandered with my bike into the building.  By the time I was told that I wasn't allowed to push my bike through and that it had to go through customs in a vehicle, and had lost the argument that this was ridiculous that I had to leave my bike and all my bags in a vehicle with a complete stranger who could just cross the customs area for cars and drive off with it all, the 4x4 driver had gone and I was approached by a number of other drivers looking for my custom.  Another fee negotiated I had my bike in another vehicle and sprinted back to immigration looking very flustered and probably slightly suspicious but thankfully they let me through fairly quickly.  I then ran out into the courtyard on the other side and couldn't see the guy with my bike.  I was greeted by the first driver who sheepishly wandered away when I had told him what had happened and I set off looking through the windows of all the identical looking 4x4s that were exiting customs.  Thankfully my nemesis wasn't around this time and the driver with my bike waved me over, unceremoniously dumped my kit out of his car, took the agreed fee and drove away.  A great sense of relief passed over me and I stood with my bags strewn across the floor, recovering my breath before enjoying the beautifully smooth road into China.

China has been great so far for the most part.  The Boney Bicycle Bandit has been spotted on a number of occasions in the more dusty and polluted areas but has been unable to cause any mischief.  The roads are wide and smooth and the towns full of bicycles.  Every fifth cyclist is a complete maniac but its great to see so many people on bikes and ruling the roads in some places.  The best thing about coming in from Mongolia is that although I passed through mountains, I was almost always descending so got the benefit of the views without the hard work to access them. 

I have been stopped by the police on a couple of occasions.  The first time they were driving in an unmarked van that swerved and braked in front of me to stop me which I ended up going into the back of cursing the driver (I was very thankful he didn't speak English when I discovered he was a police officer)!  After they had checked my documents I asked for directions and they called over a man on a scooter and told him to escort me out of the town on the right road.  My second encounter was the following morning where I was waved over to stop and then given four bottles of clear liquid tasting like flat lemonade, offered a bed in their van to sleep in for a few hours and was the star of their photo shoot as all the officers got out their cameras to take pictures with the funny looking white man on a bike. 

Camping is a bit more difficult in China as there are just people everywhere, particularly the closer you get to Beijing so I have found myself camped under a road only just wide enough to squeeze my tent into, in a small wood in between two roads waking up to a chap working a few metres away, and in the middle of a busy junction on the edge of Beijing as it was the only patch of land people weren't walking through.  My chopstick skills are still dismal and my ability to converse in Chinese even worse but at lit seems to provide the locals with some entertainment.

For a long time I've felt like I've been carrying a lot of luggage on my bike for the size of the thing.  Vehicles in China have made me re-assess that notion somewhat with people transporting vast loads on whatever they are driving.  One of the craziest examples of this was when two motorcycles past, each with three sheep strapped to the back.  One strapped upside-down over the top of the back wheel with its legs stuck straight up into the air, and one held each side of the back wheel with their legs sticking out horizontally.  I thought that these sheep were all dead until one of them lifted its head.  The drivers have obviously been watching too much Wallace and Gromit!
26/8/2011 05:34:17 am

The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.

John Robson
30/8/2011 11:14:32 pm

Hey mate, glad to see you made it safely to China. I've just got back from DPRK in Beijing at the mo. Are you still here?? Here till the 4th if so. take it easy, (moscow) john

22/12/2013 03:09:29 am

Great post, thank you.


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